


Iron Man & Captain America

by 14ofdiamonds



Series: But when I wake up, I still see your ghost [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff (but that comes way later), Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Steve Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is a piece of crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14ofdiamonds/pseuds/14ofdiamonds
Summary: Tony wants the voice in his head (Steve) to freaking STOP TALKING.  So he tells Steve to shut it, Steve gets hurt, and Tony is lonely.  (But don't worry, good stuff happens later)Enjoy!





	1. Shut up, Steve.  And Tony, shut up too.

Tony Stark hated Captain America so much.  ‘Twas beyond words how much hatred and loathing for Steven Grant Rogers Tony felt.  It was Cap’s fault that Tony’s father barely payed attention to his own son growing up.  When Tony was a child, he had no idea as to why his father was obsessed with a man who died years ago.  Why did this matter now?  Because Steve was a ghost who possessed Tony and never.  Stopped.  Talking.  

 

“Will you shut up?! I’m trying to fix my suit!”  ony yelled at Steve for the fifth time in that hour.  

 

“What, you mean the piece of scrap metal that’s crumbling in your hands as we speak?” Steve countered snarkily. 

 

“No, I mean suit made of nitinol and Vibranium that’s sitting on my desk that’s broken and needs to be fixed before the Avengers need to assemble again.”  

 

“Please.  You made those names up.  Those aren’t real.”

 

“Your shield was made of Vibranium.”

 

“Shut your mouth.  Didn’t your mother tell you to not talk back to your elders?”

 

“I don’t think an annoying S.O.B. that talks to me in my head while I’m trying to work counts as one of my elders.  And don’t MY elders have to be related to ME?”

 

“Excuse you, my mother was very nice.”

 

“She had to be, because no one else cared about you.”

 

Steve went eerily quiet.  Tony wasn’t sure what it meant when a ghost was quiet, and he was kind of scared to find out.  

 

“Fuck you.  At least she actually payed attention to me while I was growing up and helped me when I was sick or in pain.” Steve said a couple of minutes later.  

 

“First of all,” Tony said, “how long did it take you to come up with that?  Second of all, she was your mother, if she didn’t do that, people would ask questions.  Third of all, she freaking died when you were in your teenage years.”

 

“Then my friend, Bucky, took care of me.” 

 

“James Buchanan Barnes?  Wasn’t he, like, your boytoy or something? And didn’t he die because you couldn’t catch him when he fell of the train?”  Tony knew he was acting pretty bitchy, but he really wanted Steve to shut up.  

 

“That’s it.  I’m going to sleep.  If you think I’m ever going to talk to you again, you’re wrong.”

 

“GOOD! Now I can work in peace!”

 

That night, Tony finished the adjustments on his suit and went on a date with his secretary, Pepper Potts.  He was going to propose to her tonight if everything went according to plan.  He was going to just chat with her for a little bit, and then when she went to the washroom, he would slip a ring inside her napkin.  However, not everything goes according to plan with Tony Stark and women.  

 

While Pepper and Tony were talking, one of Tony’s exes, Emma Frost, came up to them.  “Hey Tony! We haven’t seen each other in so long!” 

 

While Tony looked like he was about to have a heart attack, Pepper was intrigued by Emma.  “Hi,” she said shyly, “who are you?”

 

“I’m Emma Frost, and who might a lovely lady like you be?”

 

Pepper blushed, and Tony knew his plan wasn’t going to work.  Pepper was obviously in love with his ex and he wasn’t going to do anything to interfere with her happiness.  

 

“I’m Pepper Potts, Tony is my boss.”

 

“Stark, I didn’t know you were the type of person who was into boss- worker relationships.  Otherwise, I would have asked for an interview with you to be your secretary.”

 

“Pepper’s my secretary, Emma,” Tony interjected, “Pepper, Emma is my ex-girlfriend.  Good, now that we all know each other, could you please leave, Emma?”

 

“Tony, let her stay, she hasn’t done anything bad to us.  But if you have a problem, you can leave yourself,” Pepper stated cooly. 

 

“Fine, I will.”  There was no way in hell Tony was going to stick around with his ex-girlfriend, and his secretary (who’s now his ex-girlfriend as well) making googly eyes at each other.

 

Once Tony changed into sleepwear and got into bed, he asked, “Steve?” in his head.  Steve didn’t answer.  

 

_ I guess that means that the son of a bitch is still being as silent as the grave _ . Tony smiled at his own pun.   Then the smile disappeared when another thought came to his mind.

 

_ I’m was all alone.  I have no one now.  _

 

_ No! I’m not alone. And to prove that I’m not alone, I’m going to invite all the Avengers, as well as Spiderman and Deadpool to a movie night tomorrow, and we’re going to watch every single  _ Harry Potter _ movies and  _ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _.  Yeah, I can’t wait for tomorrow.  _

 

_ Good luck making all the phone calls.  Pepper probably won’t be there to do it for you.   _

 

_ Making phone calls is fun!  I get to be social! _

 

_ Mmhmm.  Sure.   _


	2. Alone Again, Naturally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: This chapter gets SUPER angsty and a suicide attempt and the mention of blood, so brace yourself.

No one was free.  How the fuck was everyone busy at the exact same time?! It was impossible! Bruce was back in India playing doctor to the entire country, Clint and Natasha were vacationing in Paris, and Thor was busy trying to chase down his evil brother Loki in Asgard.  Tony even became desperate enough to call Nick Fury, but he was “busy with something that may destroy the world and must be mdealt with now and none of the Avengers were allowed to know.

 

_ See Tony? No one wants to hang out with you.  You're going to be alone forever.  No one likes you.  You're annoying.   _

 

_ Yeah.  I might as well just watch all the movies myself and wallow in my own sadness until something calls to my attention.   _

 

_ \------ _

  
  


A long while later, after Tony finished all the movies and ate around ten bowls of tear- soaked popcorn, he decided to make adjustments to his suits again.  

 

The only benefit for Steve being inside my head, Tony thought, is that I don't have to sleep, otherwise I'd never have enough emotional and/or physical energy to watch kids movies and work on my suits in the same day.  

 

Eventually, Tony got tired of modding his suits and just ended up laying there slighting a screw through a washer so his fingers had something to do.  But of course, his attention span was that of a fly and he got bored of that too.  

 

Now Tony was really desperate for company.  He decided to do the one thing that he thought he would never do.  

 

“Steve? I'm sorry for what I said.  I was an asshole.  I know how much your mom and Bucky mean to you and I'm sorry that I even said they didn't.  I know you're probably not going to forgive me, but that's okay.  It's alright.  I don't deserve it.  But could you at least tell me if you’re listening or not?”

 

Tony never apologized in his life- for ANYTHING.  Steve also knew this as well so he should be moved by this, right???  Tony was honestly scared that Steve would not say anything, but he was also scared he would.  

 

“Tony, you idiot, I am never forgiving you.  And yes, I did listen.  And I know the only reason you’re apologizing is so you can make fun of me later and apologize again and you’re going to keep doing that where it’s a vicious circle where you say something and apologize and make me forgive you because then I’ll feel bad.  I want to forgive you, Tony, but I don’t want to keep forgiving you for hurting me if that’s all you are going to do to me,” Steve cried in his head.  

 

_ Great.  Not even the guy who’s dead wants to hang out with us.   _

 

_ Why does he assume I’m just going to hurt him again?  Am I that bad of a person? _

 

_ Yes, I am.  I was going to invite everyone over just so I wouldn’t feel lonely.  I purposely hurt Steve’s feelings just so he would shut up while I worked on my stupid suit.  Because my suit is so much more important than the person I fucking loved this whole time. _

 

Tony did not even bother disagreeing with this thought because he knew it was true.

 

_ God, I miss his voice.  I miss when he would talk to me, even though he was making fun of me the entire time.  Why should he be trapped in my head when he could be free?  It just takes a couple of cuts in my veins, or a bullet wound to the brain…. _

 

_ Alright. But before that, I’m destroying this suit.  If I’m going to die, so will the thing that I used to use an excuse to not admit my feelings to the one I love and cause him to leave me.   _

 

Without a second thought, Tony grabbed every single weapon he owned, which included a couple of guns, knives, flamethrowers, and even two chainsaws he found in a box to the left of his workstation. He completely laid out his suit, grabbed an AK-47 and fired a shot.  That was when Steve decided to speak.

 

“Tony?! What are you doing? You loved this suit!”

 

Tony didn’t say anything.  He didn’t care what Steve thought about his suit.  To Tony, his suit was an abomination that deserved to be completely trashed.  And then covered with the blood that his owner bled after killing himself.  

 

Tony cut the suit, shot at it, and burned it until the remains were the size of tiny scattered pieces of red and gold.  Surprisingly, J.A.R.V.I.S. didn’t even say anything during his episode.  Speaking of J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony quickly grabbed a small gun and then began to give instructions to J.A.R.V.I.S. on his computer.  He continued to do this until a pop-up came up on his screen, “Do you want to activate the Deactivation Sequence for J.A.R.V.I.S.? This is permanent and cannot be undone.”  Tony clicked the “ok” button and then Steve panicked.

 

“Okay, Tony, what in the actual fuck is going on?  Why are you destroying your suit and permanently deactivating J.A.R.V.I.S.?! TONY, TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!  YOU’RE FUCKING SCARING ME!!!”

 

Tony put the gun to his temple.

 

“Bye, Steve.  You’re free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment on whether this was too much/ not enough/ just right angst so I know for future reference.
> 
> Lesson of the Day: You know you're drunk when you tell your friend "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."  
> (Also: my one thought listening to Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic! At the Disco besides YAAASSS BITCH YAAASSS!!)


	3. Take Me Out On a Date Before Doing Anything of the Sort.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The required short and sweet chapter with confessions and stuff.

“OH HELL NO TONY YOU’RE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS PUT THE GODDAMN GUN DOWN!!”

This voice came from behind Tony rather than in his head. He didn’t care. He was going to pull the trigger no matter who told him to stop. His finger put a slight amount of pressure on the trigger before the gun was slapped out of his hand. 

“What the hell was that for?!” Tony yelled while turning around to see who the fuck interrupted his suicide attempt. Once Tony saw who it was, he thought maybe he actually did pull the trigger because no way in hell what was happening right now was in real life.

“Am I dead? I think I’m dead, because there is no other explanation for why you’re standing here in front of me, Steve.”

Steve looked paler than usual, but he had his normal Captain America uniform and shield. He didn’t have his helmet though, which threw off Tony a little. Usually, when Steve wore his uniform, he wore all of it, which included the helmet. So where’d the helmet go?

“No Tony, you’re not dead. There was no way you were going to die while I was still in your head,” Steve answered, his voice cracking slightly.

“But, then you would’ve been free-”

“Ok, first of all, I don’t even want to ‘be free’, second of all, there are people out there in this world that really care about you so you cannot afford to do something stupid like commit suicide just because I didn’t want to forgive you, third of all, I’m sorry for saying what I said, it was uncalled for and I feel really bad because it drove you to this, and fourth of all, I forgive you, and I love you too much to not stop you from doing this.”

Tony was speechless. Steve felt bad because he thought it was his fault that Tony almost committed suicide? Steve forgave him? Steve was in love with him?

Then Tony grew confused. “Wait, if you’re a ghost then why are you out of my head?”

“Seriously? I just gave the most heartfelt confession I’ve ever had in my life and that’s what you ask?” Steve joked, “I can sometimes come out of your head but only if we’re both in love with each other. Don’t ask me why, it’s Death’s rule. But if you want, I can go back in your head. But it gets kinda cramped sometimes and I need to get out.”

“No, stay outside. Now I don’t have to deal with a voice in my head, just the voice of my love that’s next to me all the time,” Tony said with a smile. “Also, how did you know I loved you?”

“Tony, before you were going to pull that trigger, you literally said, ‘Bye Steve, you’re free’, so if you didn’t love me, why would you say that?”

“Alright, alright, you win this round. But can other people see you too when you’re not in my head?”

“No, you could say I’m ‘just for you’.”

“Well then, if you’re ‘just for me’, then can you strip?” teased Tony.

“Tony Stark, isn’t the rule that you have to take me out on a date before asking me something of that kind?” Steve giggled, and that sound was actual music to Tony’s ears.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Alright, but no Harry Potter. I don’t want to watch anything with ghosts in it.”

“Have you seen any Batman movies? I mean, Batman sucks, but the plots of the movies are good.”

“No, I haven’t seen any Batman movies.”

“Yay! Now I can point out all Batman’s character flaws to someone who’ll actually listen!”

“Don’t get too cocky, now, or I’ll go back into your head and just scream at you until you calm down.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll shut up. But next time, I’m pointing out every single thing that’s wrong with Batman starting with his suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I beg you, leave a comment for what ship I should use in the next work! (Also, I have nothing against Batman, it's just I remembered that in the LEGO Batman movie, his password for the Batcave was "Iron Man sucks" so yeah)
> 
> Lesson of the Day: "When you're full, stop eating." ~theodd1sout


	4. Hey Y'all

I'm taking a break for writing in this series- but DO NOT WORRY for I will start again next week (I think).

Also, my presence on ao3 will be lessened with plans for the summer and all that jazz near the end of this month.

Please leave a comment for any future ships you want me to write about for this series!

I'm going to also accept three-word prompts (this will be another series I'm doing), so if you want to give me ideas for that, gimme a ship and three words you want me to include in the fic. 

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the week!

 

 

 

(Oh wait one last thing- I use both my phone and computer when on ao3 but I don't usually log in to my phone [I'm lazy] so if you see a comment from someone named "Litten", that's moi.)


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